Forgiveness: Your Necessary Blessing
We learned about forgiveness at a young age, and we are taught to forgive others……
but HONESTLY does that make forgiveness any easier?
Well, I don’t know about you, but it ISN’T anywhere near easy for me!.
Despite this, God has a funny way of challenging you to grow in your weakest areas..
As challenging as forgiveness can be, you will learn that it is truly YOUR necessary blessing.
Hear me out, as I explain more.
Now What Makes Forgiveness SOOOO Difficult?
I could probably go on ALL Day on the question above, but I’ll reel it in and keep it simple for y’all today.
What makes forgiveness so difficult is….our emotions.
Yep, you read that right…our feelings of sadness, happiness, vulnerability, discouragement etc.
As a mental health therapist, I always encourage my clients to think deeply about the thoughts that plague their situations.
In the case of forgiveness, here are some thoughts that go through my mind. Comment below and tell me if you connect with either thought.
-I’m afraid of being taken advantage of/for granted again
-I’m afraid of becoming vulnerable and ultimately getting disappointed
While these are two simple statements, the meanings behind them run deeper than most could imagine.
Weaponizing a Lack of Forgiveness
I’m 100% sure that you’ve never thought of holding back forgiveness as weaponizing it….but here is what I mean
We learned above that we use the lack of forgiveness as an unhealthy coping mechanism. This is essentially how we protect ourselves from intense emotions, such as hurt, disappointment, anger and so on. Generally, most people hide these emotions under the “I won’t ever forgive that person” umbrella.
Forgiving someone almost seems like you’re taking away a child’s security blanket. Essentially, you’re taking away the one thing that helps the child feel SAFE and PROTECTED..
When we forgive others, we are typically called to let go of our security blankets and therefore become more susceptible to hurt and disappointment….AGAIN
and honestly y’all, who wakes up and decides to be vulnerable to hurt and disappointment? NOBODY!
Why Is Forgiveness Necessary?
Despite the point from above, forgiveness is essential to your lifelong and spiritual journey.
Of course, I can sit here and type out everything else someone else would tell you about why you should forgive others including:
Forgiveness helps you free your head, heart and spirit.
Forgiveness helps you release what was on your mind.
Now, while these two benefits are important and helpful…they might not be enough to encourage someone to forgive their trespassers.
Here’s what changed the game for me!
Matthew 5:8: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God
If you believe that what happened to you either destroyed you, stopped you, ended you or cursed you…then you HAVE to hold onto your bitterness because what happened pretty much shut your life down (Paraphrased from TD Jakes: Faith to Forgive)
Now, I don’t know about you, but NO situation I will ever go through will curse, end, stop or destroy me…because I have God on my side.
I’ll go back to the bible to quote this verse:
Isaiah 54:17: No weapon formed against you shall prosper
But wait…I’m not done!
Have you ever heard of the phrase moving mountains?
Well, In TD Jakes’ sermon, he compares moving a mountain to a tree. The mountain is an external barrier that stands in the way of where you want to go. Most people understand the concept of bypassing a mountain. On the contrary, the tree seems like a simple object to navigate around.
But what about moving a tree? Why is that sooo difficult and how on earth does it compare to moving a mountain?
Well here’s the thing…you can cut down, use a saw to tear down the tree.
Most don’t realize that it takes just as much faith to tear down a tree as it does to move a mountain.
Why is that the case?
A mountain is massive in size, but has NO roots. Cutting down the tree is easy, but digging up the roots up is NOT.
In reference to forgiveness, the root is what someone or something did to you.
The root is what you carry around as a result of what happened to you. Once you get rid of this root, you will find that God will bless you beyond measure.
Is the Root Better Than the Blessing?
As we continue to process the thought of forgiveness based on the thought above, we have to ask the question, is the root better than the blessing?
If holding onto your anger and disappointment is MORE important than receiving your blessing….then GREAT….have at it!
But if you’re going to walk in your Christianity…then forgiveness is REQUIRED.
So, if you choose not to forgive, then you’ll be the one carrying the burden for the rest of your life!
So, in a sense, you can’t afford to NOT forgive!
If Jesus Did It, We Can TOO!
When Jesus was being crucified he said “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:24.
Jesus asked for forgiveness while he was ON the cross!
Most of us can’t forgive people YEARS after something has happened…and Jesus forgave while he was in the midst of dying from what his trespassers did to him.
Forgiveness is NOT as easy topic…but in order to walk in your divine Christian faith and continue to grow spiritually and emotionally, we have to choose forgiveness and make it a PRIORITY in our lives.
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