Ladies, have you ever looked back at a situation and thought…man, they treated me like CRAP? Usually when I think about situations like this, I instantly feel angry or frustrated again.
The reality comes after that initial rush of anger or frustration goes away and you have to start thinking about what YOU contributed to the situation.
Depending on where you are with the situation…you may stop reading this article right about NOW….but hear me out!
Whether we like it or not, there are always TWO or more people involved in situations, even when we feel severely wronged..
In moments like these, how many times have you taken a step back and genuinely looked at YOUR role in the situation? I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but here’s what I mean…!
Even in situations where we feel like we did everything RIGHT…there is mostly always one thing we did wrong!
At some point in the situation, you ALLOWED someone to treat you the way they wanted to treat you….!
The keyword here is ALLOWED.
Now, I’ve probably lost you right about here but this is the absolute truth that most people won’t tell you.!
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that people do what you ALLOW!
They also have to meet the standards or expectations that you SET!
Here’s an example of what I mean…
You have a flaky friend who doesn’t return your calls, never makes time to hang out with you and isn’t there when you need them.
Now in this situation, it is EASY to think about what this person did to us, but the real question is how did we contribute to this situation?
This friend didn’t become flaky overnight. At some point in your friendship, your friend began showing these characteristics, maybe they didn’t show up to an important event or didn’t come through when you really needed them.
Most times, people don’t POP up with negative behaviors. We typically see these behaviors creep in long before the shit hits the fan (I’m just being honest here)
The real question about this situation, or any other situation you may find yourself in, is what are YOUR expectations?
What you ACCEPT is generally a reflection of what you EXPECT.
For the situation above…what do you expect of a friend? Well me, I expect someone who is trustworthy, there for me when I need them, caring, loyal, reliable, etc.
In situations where our feelings are involved, we tend to put our expectations to the side and pick them up when we GET READY!
Most people either don’t have adequate expectations for themselves or don’t live by their expectations.
What’s the worst that could happen if we create expectations and hold ourselves to them?
Expectations certainly make relationships (platonic and romantic) more difficult but they also bring you a sense of PEACE.
This peace is something you can’t buy ANYWHERE.
I don’t know about you…but I decided that I can no longer live my life without adequate expectations for those around me…and that goes for family, friends and romantic relationships.
Tell me what you think about expectations? Have they been easy or challenging to implement in your own life? Comment below
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